Let's all go to Flaming Moe's

This was a really long week. I feel very grateful that I got through it more or less intact. There are so many things that I want to do, but don't know if I can. I wish that I could do it all; I have a desire to control everything and do it all perfectly, but that is an impulse I know to stay away from. I really hope that I follow through on everything; I feel much more intentional about things in my life, but even so, those intentions only go so far.

So, things that happened this week... School started and I have been pretty busy running around trying to do stuff and being late to all my classes. Haha, love the 3 day weekend. So I have been doing a lot of lab stuff, it feels a little like overload, but it's only been 3 days. It's so hard to be positive sometimes, I feel like I sometimes have to really push so it doesn't get overwhelming. Classes are ok, it's actually very nice only having 3 classes. I've been typing that number a lot; weird. I had also been studying for the MCAT diag 3 that was this Saturday; I was pretty scared about not improving, but I did improve! I was so happy, and really surprised because the scores jumped a lot. I think the first two tests are just really not supposed to be indicators of how well you're progressing, and the last 3 are more important. So now, I'm pretty encouraged to keep working at it; God I will be so happy when this is over. Sadly, that means school will nearly be over and even though I'm looking forward to everything, I'm still pretty nervous sometimes to think about the future, even a few months ahead.

The other thing that made me really happy this week was having a good conversation with Erich and Tianyi on Thursday night about our friendships. For a long time, I've been worried that my relationships weren't very meaningful, a lot of it because there wasn't any effort being put into them, and a lot of the things that are important were being substituted for superficial stuff. And so we talked about what I'd been thinking about over break, that I really care about them and how I'd like to put my relationships first. It was mostly me doing the talking and I even told them about not wanting to misrepresent Jesus and that stuff. It was a little bit awkward but good because it wasn't too serious and I'm glad that they know how to respond to me. I don't know how to write about it other than I feel a lot better about being a good friend and that even when we all go our separate ways we can still be in each others lives in some way. That's the hope, I guess.

I think that I might be growing as well. Not in a very obvious way, just a little bit. I even went to growth group last Wednesday and actually shared stuff. And I hate sharing. Haha, seriously. I think I love sharing now. And Jesus. I don't know what to say about it, but letting him take care of some of the little things feels like an amazing weight off my shoulders. I should go for now, I have to get up early and need some sleep. Oh, life... you're not what I expected.