Growing up

Not very much happened today. I contemplated applying for a credit card, and I will probably go to the bank tomorrow to get more information. My only hesitation is that I'll have gone to the bank three days in a row. Haha, I'll get over it.

School is going to start soon, and I wonder whether I will be able to manage it very well. Recently, I came to accept that there would be a lot to handle, but for some reason I think that if I have the right attitude there's nothing I can't do. Ridiculous, I know. I think it's the book that's making me happy. It's called Mountains Beyond Mountains about the work of Dr. Paul Farmer and his quest to save the world.

I am concerned to some degree that this semester might be too much. Classes include Chem 120A, MCB 110, and Chem 105; then lab research; then the job at ESITA; MCAT studying; PMHS events; friends; sleep. That sounds okay right? That's not too different from last semester. It will probably be more intense... um, I'll just stay in my happy place for now. It's so strange because it feels like I'm seeing things in a different way. It's the first time that I've really been excited about the future. And I'm not entirely sure what I'm basing my happiness on, whether its the prospect of doing medicine and making a difference in the world, or just the feeling that anything can happen if I'm willing. This is also another moment in which I could just be setting myself up for a massive fall, if this really is all too much for me to handle. The only thing I really have on my side is the belief that whatever happens, happens for the best. Right?

On the trip to San Diego with my friends, we were watching "Rudy" on Jeff's HDTV (ooooOO), and it was the typical inspirational story of how someone who came from nothing proved everyone wrong when he became a Notre Dame football player. I actually liked it a lot, heh, but what stuck with me most was when Rudy was talking to a priest about why Notre Dame kept rejecting him, what he was doing wrong, if he needed to work harder or pray more, etc. And the priest replied, "Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and I'm not Him." Initially, I thought, "35 years and that's what you come up with? Congrats." But he was right, I mean, what else can you really say as definitively as that? Those two statements really are quite profound, and something that I can definately see a person (me) struggle with for most of his/her life. But then, when you know that these things are true, it becomes quite freeing.