Take it easy baby

I'm gonna write in this as if I hadn't stopped writing in here for the past months. Not because I'm procrastinating. I just have these feelings inside that I kind of need to process. My QM midterm is today at 11am. I am pretty much fucked. My MCAT is on Thursday. I feel okay about that, I will just do the best that I can, and will live with that. I'm glad that it's almost over.

God though. I'm so sad. A couple of days ago, my roommate told me she had to move out next year and into her sorority. Which, I probably should have expected, but still felt pretty emotional. Like a trainwreck. And it bothers me so much. I don't know, it's not the end of the world. I'm just gonna miss her like crazy. I feel like all of my friends are leaving me prematurely. I'm not done with them yet! Well, I suppose that it's a good thing and maybe I'll be more grateful for them.

I cried when she told me. A little bit. Haha, kind of a lot. And thinking about it still makes me want to cry. Sometimes, it doesn't feel bad though. It feels like it'll all be fine and I shouldn't be sad about it. I think, personally, the moments where it feels like nothing to me are the strangest. Not that I feel obligated to miss her, but I mean, I shouldn't feel nothing about it. It's just, I don't want it to get better by me not caring. I want to feel at peace and have trust that things are changing and I don't have to worry because I'm not in control. I should go to bed. I hope its okay. I need a break.